Between the World and Me
by HecateA
Summary: Sirius' death broke Remus' heart into a thousand pieces, but maybe it doesn't have to shatter his whole life. Oneshot. Turn Right Instead of Left AU.


**Author's Note: **So this is a "Turn Right Instead of Left AU," and I might be going meta with this but I decided to write the break-up, which Rowling never really elaborates on but that I firmly believe in my heart of hearts happened… well, you'll see.

**Disclaimer: **The following characters belong to J.K. Rowling, and this story derives from her original works, storylines, and world. Please do not sue me, I can barely pay tuition.

**Warnings: **Canon character death

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**Stacked with: **MC4A; Terms of Services

**Individual Challenge(s): **Tissue Waring; Hufflepuff MC; Gryffindor MC; True Colours; Seeds; Shipmas; Tissue Warning; Golden Times; Old Shoes; In a Flash; Themes and Things B (Protection); In a Flash

**Representation(s): **Auror Tonks; St. Mungo's

**Bonus challenge(s): **Middle Name; Second Verse (Ladylike); Chorus (Odd Feathers); Demo (Creature Feature; Wabi Sabi; In the Trench; Tomorrow's Shade; White Dress; Surprise!; Dog Star)

**Tertiary bonus challenge: **NA

**Word Count: **785

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_**Shipping Wars**_

**Ship (Team): **Nymphadora Tonks and Remus Lupin (Technicolour Moon)

**List (Prompt): **Spring Micro 1 List (Turned Right Instead of Left AU)

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**Between The World and Me **

She was quite mobile, but still slow. She definitely still favoured one leg more than the other. But overall, she had thankfully recovered swiftly from the injuries she'd suffered in the Department of Mysteries.

Remus still felt just as raw as he had when Sirius had fallen.

But that was a different story altogether. For now, he had to prioritize Dora and think about her, and her wellbeing, her health, her future… That meant ignoring how numb and hollow he felt about the prospect of it. Or his prospect in it, he should say.

He brought her back home when she was discharged by the Healers. She sat down at the kitchen table of the studio apartment she rented in Muggle London, which he knew quite well by this point.

"Do you need anything?" Remus asked. "I have no idea what the state of your pantry is like, but I can try to cook."

"I'm really not hungry," she said. "But thank you. We should talk."

"What about?" Remus asked, surprised. Had she seen sense too?

"You've been unlike yourself," Dora said. "I mean, I wasn't expecting… I know Sirius is your oldest friend. His death—I can't imagine what it's like for you, I wouldn't dream to pretend I did. I appreciate you and I appreciate how you took care of me in St. Mungo's, but something feels off, Remus. You've been acting different around me, specifically."

"I promise I'm not trying to," Remus said.

"Is it because you blame me?" Dora said. She sunk her teeth into her lip. "Because I…"

"No," Remus said. "No, no, no. Not at all, nothing like that. And you shouldn't either."

"I was fighting Lestrange," she said. "I could have done better. I _should _have done better. I'm an Auror."

"You were distracted with protecting the children," Remus said. "Besides, Lestrange's sworn a vow to kill you, she's out for your blood."

Dora chewed her lip and blinked back tears, regaining her composure.

"Then what's been going on?" she asked.

He took the seat across from her, and took her hand across the table. Was this how one did these things? Remus didn't know. He'd never dared to imagine a moment like this.

"You're right when you called Sirius my oldest friend," Remus said, calculated. "And I've been thinking about him, and about that, so much since he died. And it made me realise that the bond I had with Sirius was old. It was from a completely different time in my life—when I was younger, more foolish, less careful… And my condition was still hidden. Associating with me wasn't quite so damaging. Besides that, the Ministry and the world were… well, not friendlier, but less hostile to people like me."

Dora arched an eyebrow.

"It made me realise that forming any kind of deep relationship… Well, it was different when I was younger, with Sirius and James. It wouldn't be fair for me to do it again now, when I know better and when Voldemort is getting stronger," Remus said.

"No," Dora breathed.

"Dora, I'm sorry," Remus said. "I've wasted your life. I didn't mean to mislead you, but this thing we've been kindling…"

"Has nothing to do with Sirius," she said, shaking her hand.

"It doesn't, you're right," Remus said. "But I'm seeing clearly now, and I don't want to…"

"This isn't between the world and me," Dora said. "No, I won't have it. I love you. I've said it before and I'll say it again, no matter how shitty things get, which—yeah, might be a lot, at this rate. But I will, I really will love you. I promise, it's a whole lot easier to do than you think it is. I love you. And I'll say it again, because I'll love you again."

"I love you too, which is why…"

"No," Dora said. "No. Love doesn't make you hurt the people you love, Remus. Being without you, letting the world get in our way, would hurt more than whatever it is you think the universe has in store for us. I know what you're thinking. But you don't have to leave to love me properly."

Remus hesitated.

He could say yes. Yes he did have to.

He could say that she didn't understand and never would, and he would be right and she wouldn't pretend.

He could fight it a bit harder—but there was no fight in him. Not about this. Not when she was looking at him with fire in her eyes and the freckles across her nose especially visible today. Not when loving her properly and doing right by her was everything he wanted and more.

"Okay," Remus said. "Okay, I'll stay."


End file.
